You can’t spell deer whistle without a W
December 28, 2008 1:44 pmThis is a deer whistle.
Never heard of a deer whistle? Actually, neither had I, till I moved up in the hills out in the boonies here in Central Texas, in an area with more deer than anywhere else in the state. Fact 1. Said area also has a steadily increasing human population, most of which drive automobiles. Fact 2. Did I mention the hills? In the boonies? Roads in said area are for the most part, narrow, twisty, and hilly. Fact 3.
Take those facts to their logical conclusion and Fact 4 presents itself. Cars driven by humans collide with deer fairly often.
Back to the whistles. There are folks who spend good money on these devices, then take the time to affix them to their vehicles. Time passes. A subset of the folks with deer whistles do not collide with deer. This subset then goes about proselytizing about how deer whistles kept them from hitting deer. In addition, they will cite studies that back up their claim. They feel safe and self-assured, glad they spent that 49.95.
Another subset of this group will, inevitably, collide with deer. Some of these folks will realize they should have known better. They feel stupid and they are damn well not going to make it a public fact. Others will however, and they also can point to studies that back them up.
There are other folks here, of which I am one, that never bought a deer whistle because they trusted their own judgment that such devices were no match for keen observation of deer behavior and cautious driving, particularly at certain times and in certain places. Time has passed, and we haven’t hit any deer either, nor are we out 49.95. We know however, that shit happens, and life is uncertain, some deer just seem to have a deathwish, and we might one day have that collision, no matter what we do or don’t do.
My point?
That dwindling group of die-hards and relatives, trying to keep what’s left of the Lame Chimp’s “legacy” from whisking down the drain, by grasping at the straw that at least America was safe, that at least we haven’t had another terrorist attack after 9/11, and thus he is not in fact, the worst president in American history? Those folks? Some of them believe deer whistles work, too.
Most of them though? Most of them don’t believe in much of anything. Except money and power.
And that thing about suckers being born every minute.
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Categories: Flea Circus, Metonymica
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